He just said "Chunky" very loudly in his sleep.
you kept begging me not to tell anyone you had been a bat in another life
my text book just quoted the cookie monster
Judging by the fact that my hair was glued to my head with vomit, yeah I think I couldve used a friend last night
he left me a note this morning. it said "thank you for letting me touch you"
It's very clear that i'm the girl sweating out four lokos at 2 in the afternoon at the gym
I don't think i can handle my uncle say again that kid rock is a true musician....
Fuck. These are the symptoms I had when I was pregnant. This could be bad.
Just signed my boyfriend up on a dating website so I could officially have a reason to leave him for my hot neighbor.
Please stop hiding condoms in my house. If I want to have sex with you, I will let you know. FYI, my mom found the ones hidden behind the milk. She was not happy.
Every pair of shorts I try on makes me look like some kind of powerful lesbian wizard.
That is like, the point of shorts
I just want you to know that I'm, like, 45% hard right now.
Would I chase a raccoon with a flaming stick sober?
I can't wait til I'm a real grown up and am no longer expected to take 7 shots of raspberry ruby as a pregame to a night of drinking natty lite
Like, she can be the shepard of the gays. Delivering him unto homosexuality.
Randomize
