I'm pretty sure he jizzed in his pants, and no it wasn't even half as funny as that song.
She really thought E.D. was a sexually position.
She told me I reminded her of the fair. And she wanted to deep fry my dick and eat it.
I just got a booty call..Its 6 pm..a brave attempt to climb the rotation ladder..I like his ambition.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I am actually insulted by the long string of ugly, fat girls he hooked up with after me.
As I type I'm climbing my cousins swingset so I can take a nap inside the slide. Fuck this hangover. I always win.
It might've been him telling me last night that he "doesn't even need beer goggles to fuck me." When I thought that was sweet, I realized something needed to change.
You were fine, but your knee injury definitely came from interpretive dancing like a gay fairy with lead wings all around the Mission St BART. Everyone thought you were on drugs.
How would your parents feel if we installed a sex swing?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Saw 2 lesbians fist fighting outside the bar tonight. I was startled yet slightly turned on
The porch is breathing.
STAY OUT OF MY SHROOMS YOU CUNT
Friends don't let friends go vibrator shopping alone.
This is me trying to take a picture to send to grandma. At 4. We were trying to look sober.
the fact that I've been his fuck buddy for a year, and I'm pregnant isn't bothering me. the fact that he didn't tell me about his girlfriend does.
"Offered to eat Froot Loops out of my belly button" drunk. Thats how drunk.
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