Got a toothbrush?
We're like a lot better than the average bears
in vegas stuck in the middle of a pride right now
Pride?
thats a pack of cougars
go fuck yourself
I truly believe that the solid foundation of any healthy relationship is a drunken one night stand so I can just get all the nasty shit out on the table
martini and pecan pie.. breakfast of champions.
Can you imagine how doomed are children are? I mean for one they have our genetics and then we will ruin them as parents. It will be the most magical adventure. Let's not start soon, too many adventures at hand that involve immense amounts of alcohol.
I swear some just paged for more cock rings over the intercom.
It was like inception, a dream, in a dream, in the back of a dodge charger.
I think the closest to heaven you can get in this world is your morning dump after a night of Molly
This power is too much for most humans to handle safely. It's like having the nuclear launch codes, except it's my penis.
Me too like the fact they didn't arrest me wants to send them an edible arrangement
The zoom feature on snap chat videos is the worst thing to ever happen to sexting
Even though I'm gonna be a felon I'm having fun for time being.
He shit in the fireplace
Is it weird that I shop for lingerie by thinking if it will look good on both me and your floor?
No. Not at all.
Randomize
