Fucking hipsters really piss me off man. They are just such punk as bitches, all of them. Oh, and fuck Ed Hardy too.
im flying all the way to minnesota to see him for four days... cutest-best-friend-reunion or most-epic-booty-call-ever?
who says it cant be both...
i woke up with a shattered plate next to my head.
Im at the hospital with monitors on and a giant green top hat. i blew a 24somethin. Im fucked.
its sad that I know 23 beers will fit into my purse
I know. I need to get a vagina tranquilizer.
You were laying in bed whispering and crying to the half eaten burrito saying "why am I shitting so much" and "what did I do to deserve this"
And that's why we do second round interviews for possible roommates.
Was I at least a good cuddler? Like at least honorable mention?
'TWAS BUT A GLORIOUS SIGHT. BITCHES.
No seriously you guys are gonna get arrested
Do me a favor I want you to reach down the front of your pants and underwear and just feel around for a while... if you happen to find your balls then join us
Let me know. Show me one boob if yes. 2 if no
It was dumb but not something to force me into sobriety
No dude. I can't think of anything LESS sexy than yodeling
I'm a full-grown woman and thusly I expect my sphincters to behave themselves.
Randomize
