No, I don't think Michelle is a squirter. And if I've had anal sex, the Obamas have.
no, i dont want the owner to like me bc i dedazzled my vagina
he told us the story of how he fought ketchup, mustard, and thomas the train engine all in one night. if that doesn't sound like an acid trip i dont know what does.
So you used a whole package of smoked meat last night. Didn't eat it, just took it out and put it all over the fridge.
im actually so stoned and hungover i feel like a bag of jello stuffed into a human shape
Kinda forgot to grab tampons. Mind if I run to my house to get one? I'd rather not turn my green skinny jeans Christmas colors
can anyone on this campus do anything sober?
She's been drunk for three days now
Like three straight days. 72 hours
She's been covered in glitter for the last two and somehow she found a monkey
I accidentally called my professor daddy...and I think he liked it. Help, I'm scared.
On a side note. I slept with a stuffed giraffe last night. Found it in my bed when I came home and snuggled with it. Drunk me reverted to being 2
Straight up last night my mom was like josh you need to find a job that doesn't include the selling or transporting of drugs
This is random but I just wanted to thank you for all the things you taught me sexually in life.
What's a sexy way to say balls deep???
I put the child locks on after I put you in the car and you then screamed, "I am a Phoenix, you can't restrain me. I NEED TO FLY!"
Have I told you i love you?
there's no need we are two peas in a naughty pod of fuckery
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