i find it a beautiful talent that i know how much pubic hair the girl in the next stall has just from the sound of her urine
Check if I'm alive tomorrow. If not, tell my parents I died happy and that there's a gay cheerleader in the spare bedroom
he sent her a picture of his penis to show that he "trusts her" or some shit like that..well she showed it to me, and let me just tell you..it looked like a freaking slug or something. creepiest penis i've ever seen. hands down
if i remember New Year's Eve then there is something seriously wrong.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you went around the entire night in your french maid costume dusting off the "cob webs" on everyone's crotch saying "you havent gotten any action in a while"
I was wondering why i got so many friend requests the next day...
I need to write the inventor of adderall a thank you note stapled to a copy of my degree
They have an open bar at this baby shower. I was born to be Cuban.
shes 19, drunk and said she has no gag reflex. im trying to decide if i have scruples
you dont
i dont
I'm gonna eat you out with that hat on so it looks like beaker's doing it. And I'm gonna go "memememememe"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Boss out of town. Had 2 beers for lunch, a long walk and a bowl...and then in he comes. Blamed obvious intoxication on my pain meds. Back at the bar. This is one of those bad judgement days.
Would seriously like to slash his tires but then I feel like I'd have to deal with him longer.
For a girl who cried from fear the last time she was asked out, this. Is. TERRIFYING!
I think putting on real pants was half my issue with today
Crying into a glass of wine at 10 am isn't exactly how I planned this day to go
What has my life become? I'be officially recruited my fuck buddy for help getting my ex back.
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