Well for one thing, she was eating rice with a shot glass.
I'm gonna have bed sores at the end of this hangover.
Just saw a teacher from our school with his wife... Now i really know how little teachers get paid.
I swear my cock is like a magnet to my friends younger sisters mouths.
better to have posed nude and lost than to never have posed nude at all...thats what i always say
That girl that gave me a blowjob, I think I fired her last year.
Rick two cubicles down puked and that triggered three others puking into their trash cans as well. The janitorial staff hates it when we go drinking on a work night.
I can't feel my tongue. And that means go. Green means go. And you know what Barney says. Green means go and woah means no. DRIIIIINKK
I woke up in my living room, on the floor, wearing nothing but a fur coat?
I love you so must. You as do fraty. You are truly my veste breakable (ties I wtf racket Andover). Luce you. Have a safe drive bio dough failover.
You know what would make this walk of shame even better? Picking up my cap n gown on the way to my car
Nothing says "we're never gonna bone" like "nice haircut, it makes you look like my cousin"
Blacked-in to me, shirtless, giving myself finger guns in the mirror and rapping "stacks in the club stacks stacks in the club."
Crying into a glass of wine at 10 am isn't exactly how I planned this day to go
Used my power pack to charge my vibrator so I didn't have to unplug my switch or my galaxy lamp. TECHNOLOGY!
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