Anal astronaut?
Wow word travels fast.
Just witnessed a fat girl fall off the treadmill, pop a medicine ball, and drink coke out of a water bottle all in one workout.
But like now everytime I pee I just think... wow I had sex with him on this toilet.
I got spanked with a cardboard tube. Apparently he used to be a percussionist. Who favored marching band tunes. It was weird.
the bartender cut u off when u asked him for his screename so u could IM him later
is cock-oriented a word? I'd say I'm that lately.
its so hard to text. the buttons are tickling my fingers
I vaguely remember stopping for a bag of bugles and some lube and then I woke up this morning with melted chocolate on my hands. I think I love him
Let's fuck under the stars. And by under the stars I mean in my bed underneath my glow in the dark star stickers.
It's two in the afternoon, I'm on my third glass of wine and I'm watching Lambchop on youtube. How do you think I feel right now?
I'm giving head in a stairwell, I'll be back in a few minutes. I'm so ashamed.
We are actually the same person except with opposite genitalia, which are both incredible.
Considering we're about to fuck, I really need your girlfriend to stop liking all my Facebook posts.
Everclear isn't food dammit
he told me he had a gf and in the very next sentence asked if I wanted to have sex.
Randomize
