Come with me and I'll find you a girl. What's your type?
Vagina
Is it awkward that I've slept with every guy in this room?
Only if they know about it too.
Ok I can't be your drugdealer AND booty call AND friend. It just doesn't work that way
double majoring has taught me only that psych majors are sluttier than govt majors
And by hung out you mean you were in my bed for 5 minutes while your penis was in my mouth.
I showed that dick picture that your date texted you to everyone because you passed out and left your phone unattended. Your fault. Plus his cock was big so his fault too.
OH MY GOD DO YOU REMEMBER WISHBONE? DO YOU REMEMBER THAT LITTLE BITCH? WHAT'S THE STORY WISHBONE
How would I get in touch with Carly Rae Jepsen if I wanted to thank her for the loss of my virginity?
I'm at work. It's margarita night. Someone literally just shouted "MURICUH!"
God bless us, everyone.
When did we convert life to cartoon?
Omg. I wanna lecture the drug dealer about how highschool should not be his glory days.
You don't even know. The entire marching band thinks I'm an alcoholic.
I'm tempted to randomly yell out 'SO HOW IS YOUR UNDERAGE GIRLFRIEND' but that would be callous
My trash can accurately represents my weekend: Bojangles wrappers and magnums.
am drunk, naked, and blow drying cat. need adult supervision
Randomize
