I'm making a conscious effort to limit my spending at the bars...i wrote "FOR CAB ONLY" on a $20 last night
I woke up naked in my own vomit. Not even in my bed. No one is happy.
He gave me his number and said the usual call whenever you need someone but then was like... or just call me.
You would pick up a guy in AA.
130 PACKAGES of glow sticks! The going rate of a rave is $38.30! GET READY FOR THE GLORGY!!!!!!!!!!!!
I took an adderall. This is weird. My eyes are really wide open and I am really good at staring. I've written on 9 peoples walls and updated my status. I am getting shit DONE!
He probably tastes like german chocolate and coffee beans
Seriously though, my ovaries are trying to crawl out of my body and into his pants.
Holy. Fuck. This mans mouth is magical. I love married men. I don't have to teach them.
Jesus Christ. If I were a normal sex-having person, I'd think I was knocked up. I'm cycling through emotions like I'm in a decathlon to crazy.
He got hotter. I'm offended on behalf of the rest of our graduating year.
I'm playing trivia and drinking margaritas so now is not a good time.
It's like the hunger games, but we're gonna bone each other instead of kill each other
So TMI but just realizing I have not masturbated since trump took office. He's sucked the sex drive out of me.
And don't worry, I have a great track record of rallying after a casual midday blackout.
Im gonna start dry humping the manequins and see if i get fired.
you know you should be lucky to find the case to my dildo....that means no more random guys at the house!
Randomize
