She has HUUUUUUUGE nipples
he threw up all over himself while laying down.. it was like watching old faithful, but with noodles and vodka
So....maintenance found the bullethole.....
when she was 9 she got kicked out of our 4-H camp dance for pole dancing on the spirit stick
I just used 'come play with my balls' as a legitimate booty call attempt. And it worked.
It's gonna be pretty hard to find a homeless person that takes crackers as currency.
He came into the hospital yelling "HEY EVERYBODY! REMEMBER ME?"
coming from the girl bound and determined to pee in the snow
why would you restrict a girl of that
Your penis has nothing to do with my throat infection, sorry...
I need a leash, or some shame. Maybe.
If you hear screaming in the middle of the night, bat got loose. Call poison control immediately and explain rabies
I think there's a problem with society when I'm shopping for lingerie and I think "man some of these would make kickass shirts"
Rigtt?!
I feel like I should remember what we did after leaving the party because apparently a llama was involved, but all I can manage is the part where I asked you to cuff my ankle to the bed so I wouldn't backflip away.
So I just saw someone get shoved into a car trunk by your car.
all my friends are getting married and here i am in a committed relationship with rum
Randomize
