So I just passed a billboard for "Risque Cafe: Good food and topless women". Fuck. I love SC.
We just got home. I got some malt liqour and a lottery ticket so I'm really doing a lot with my life right now
Some ambulance just rolled up to this bar and this girl just hops out of the back and walks inside
Pissing in la rieve gfox. Jer zsyuis diu drunk but it felt amazunbg
Dans le librearie ivetre. Hjhaha
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DON'T LET IAN EAT HIS PEANUT BUTTER!!!
Just remembered that I poured a whole bottle of tylenol in there. It's chunky. It's deadly.
Somewhere between yelling how am I gonna make it to my flight and more titie shots I stopped caring
Omg I just met another drunk guy that is teaching me karate
I'm pretty sure I told everyone in the bar I hadn't had sex in five months. And then I offered everyone calamari.
I walked into the kitchen and twelve of them were just staring at the oven. Freshmen are the weirdest drunks ever.
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Due to certain anatomical proportions it was less like fucking and more like childbirth.
Please collect your boy friend. He semi-passed out on the couch and trying to grab bums as people walk by. Anyone's bum, he's not choosy.
I just had really awesome sex bent over the side of an air hockey table. That is all. Happy thanksgiving.
I just had a flashback to the three of us in the bed and me shouting AM I THE BIGGEST OR LITTLEST SPOON?!
I'm shaved like a Brazilian hooker right now.
I have the flu.
I don't give a shit
My mother is a bitch. She just outed me to my dad. He wants to meet you by the way...