listening to techno makes your hand move faster while masterbating
I'm home alone watching The Hills seasons, eating pickles and drinking straight rye. I just googled "how to make friends". Probably not the most pro-active solution. Help.
Yeah, but I'm out of licorice and there's no way anywhere near here will rent us all mopeds on a Tuesday night.
I threw up so much beer last night that my puke had a nice head on it.
People Are Arguing Over This Guy’s Petty Reaction To Splitting Lunch With His Co-Worker
wait one more day. tuesday is my official "i hit on you and/or we hooked up this weekend" friend request day.
waking up outside has become so normal, the paper boy knows to set the paper next to me
I love waking up with his head head between my legs, it makes me feel special
i was gonna fuck her but then she started eatin sushi from her purse. i really need to raise my standards
My friend and I just coined a new term. OBJ. The obligatory blow job. You totally know what I'm talking about.
Like if he goes down on you first, or you just don't want to bone him yet. OBJ.
Girl Logs Into Twitter Only To Find Out Her Dad Is Trending For The Most Outrageous Reason
Mega depressed bro. Had the greatest sex with the hottest girl I've ever seen and in the AM she gave me that look I've given dozens of times. I'm her drunken fat chick fuck
I bet. I bought a surfboard and a kite and filled my camelback with vodka-tonics. Let's do this
You're on Grindr at the STD clinic. I love you.
She's in the hospital because she tried to steal a toilet seat from an outhouse and fell off the bank. We're gonna hang the toilet seat by the pool.
You was so high that you insisted that you heard someone whistle, then you insisted they was trapped in the wall!
ABOUT TO MAKE THE BIGGEST MISTAKE OF MY LIFE, SEND HELP
Have fun and good luck.