If facebook stalking was a job I would totally pown it
dude your alot more fun to hang out around now that your addicted to coke...but seriously you need to stop
And I wrote a rap so it was actually a productive afternoon minus not paying our bills.
I wish my mouth had a period so that could be my excuse on those days I don't feel like giving head
that's the nicest way anyone's ever asked me to send them naked pics before...
the recent google searches were "were can i buy a porn horse, why does my heart hurt after drinking, and orlando's teen night..." your thought process perplexes me
My password hint says "not sunset, also facebook." i need to stop doing computer things while high. I will never figure this clue out.
Dude, they're still mid-coitus. Pretty sure running in to high five my roommate mid-thrust is a mood-breaker.
Almost just bought a peacock. I need to get off Craigslist
Perfect. And my grandma just called me and talked to me for eighteen minutes telling me that she was worried because of my Halloween costume that I'm not a Christian and that I'm not eating. Wtf.
Check your mailbox. I left a "sorry I didn't have time to suck your dick today" consolation gift.
It's like I'm getting a welcome home parade with sex!
I told some guy on tinder, that apparently has a prosthetic leg, that I think we started off on the wrong foot. I hate myself...
Tell me why i have 60 matches in 72 hours on tinder. Can i sell my tinder account like people used to sell their myspace pages and tumblrs when they had a lot of followers? Is that a thing?
I have rug burns on my nipples. Thanks for being an awesome wing girl.
Randomize
