I think we should boobie trap our beer this time using duct tape, rubber bands, seran wrap, and urine. Trust me I have a plan and it will work.
even my worst enemy doesn't deserve a bush like that
The National Anthem was on so I had to have a beer
It was like having sex with a donkey. Everytime she got close she would kick me.
Just had a flashback of you announcing "your nipples aren't that big for the size of your boobs, I've seen them"
now I know why they wanted me to come. apparently gay guys are stripper magnets
Pissed along side the highway while waving at all the traffic... if thats not a sign of a productive night to come then idk what is
Charles Darwin would shit his pants if he saw that we managed to survive that weekend.
Why is there a condom in the dishwasher...
Yes. Amanda is the only option and I want cake so I can sacrifice my vagina.
No shame December is a go.
I think my body is a cloud. This mixture of things is heavenly. Dare was wrong, drugs are awesome.
I woke up with my name tag for work still on my shirt. It was a rough night.
I like it here so far, only people are a lot less accepting of my terrible decisions and it's cramping my style
did you call me last night and say you were being kidnapped?
You're a brave, albeit stupid soul for wanting in on the fuckery that comes attached to my vagina
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