Why did we buy the only spinning apartment on campus?
this is like her 8th guy since december, is she wasn't frumpy people would call her a whore
you announced to the whole room that instead of shaving you were planning to start straightening and then braiding your pubes. awkward silence followed by everyone leaving.
Smoking bowl and applying to community college. I now know how I got here.
Thank god the bicycalist i hit was on drugs
They get 5 minutes to wear their speedos at the wedding
Oh my god I'll have to be really drunk for that
Bathtub guy came to. He helped me roll the fat chick away from the fridge. Shower and breakfast are on. You're plan failed!
You should have hard cock pics on hand to send in the situation that you can't stop driving, pull out your cock, browse the countless pics I've sent you of my tits, get him hard and text a pic through. I mean, it's simple sexting ettiquette.
I just saw a black chick with an eyepatch. This is a once in a lifetime opportunity.
Jesus horatio Christ I forgot my mittens and am considering shoving my hands down the pants of the first semi attractive man I see
the cops accepted 42 wallaby way Sydney. and the cops, and cab driver accepted the new address. please tell the win i am experiencing
that's the second time I've left that bar and slept with the person that's driven my car. thank god I don't take cabs..
Post breakup Disney World may be my best idea ever! Tinkerbell just grabbed my dick and gave me a kiss! This really is the happiest place on earth!
dont you DARE use my tequila influenced words against me
The beauty of getting kicked out of college again is I can fuck my professor's brains out and she can't get fired now
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