Thats the last time I go out drinking with my Irish friends. Two shots of flaming sambucca = bar on fire. I was only trying to high five the barman.
i had a headache and asked the kid next to me for aspirin. he gave me esctacy instead. gotta love college.
It was odd. His friends dick tasted the same as his. Friends are beginning to have to much in common
we marched down beaver avenue with lit tiki torches humming the olympics opening song.
He wanted to put Kesha on after he came in my mouth. I had to draw some sort of trashy, gay line.
Does this mean I don't have to apologize for launching about 20 bead necklaces at you from the balcony?
I just had the most intense bikini wax of my life, i felt like i needed guardrails
The joke is on me because whale penis is forever in my search history.
Worth it.
I just want someone to put their head on my boobs and laugh at my jokes ....
Concept: I never actually flirt with anyone, I'm just a bitch and some people find it endearing
The last thing I need is a possessed urethra.
Actually we have similar relationship styles aka no relationship... it could work
Curing hangovers with more alcohol was a great idea for the first five days
My eye was non-stop itchy for like an hour... I thought burying my face in your ass caught up with me
I was so high I forgot how to swallow food, and I just kept thinking "thank god its just mashed potatoes, they'll go down eventually"
Randomize
