Is it weird I updated my facebook status from my phone while I had explosive diarrhea in my boss's private bathroom?
That would be awkward if he commented on your status
4 words: hood of his car
I just queefed in yoga class and now the old man next to me is smiling at me.
it was like fucking gandolphs beard
She's like a pop up book from hell.
its barely noon and he already threw up and i have second degree burn
Dude I need help. What word is complimentary, but sounds like "chunky"?
I'm hoping he'll tell everyone how great in bed I am. Well, how great in bathroom floor I am.
Well its kinda hard to gift wrap an orgasm
Dick in a box?
You slid down the wall and got into the fetal position. He was definitely judging... I was judging....
I almost drank vegetable oil. Where were you? I needed you.
The fact that u had sex with a Disney prince blows my mind, you're my hero.
I really wanted you to make me eggs this afternoon. I even wrote it on my hand to remind myself.
I'm gonna ask his dad. Weed trumps broken heart any day.
It’s a 10 inch dick! Of course I’m getting a Brazilian
Randomize
