remember facepaint boy? turns out it stains. aaaand i have it all over my face and neck.
He freaked out when I started to orgasm. He said he never knew girls could orgasm too.
I love you and want you to know that you're the best friend ever and me lassoing you with a seatbelt was out of sheer affection.
Drunk walkin through police station. America
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I hope you don't have to start the day explaining to me how you failed to turn "Can I practice my belly dancing in your apartment" into all night sex.
After a couple hours you decided you were going to walk home but ten minutes later you called and said you'd puked by the side of the road and you needed us to drive you to the art museum.
He's in the hospital yelling at his brother to at least have stuck something "normal" up his ass.
Again?
Did you blackout Saturday before or after we had sex in a random snow bank?
But I did spend part of my morning scrubbing your cum off my grandmothers piano.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I wish to strangle
whoa there darth vader
sidebar: i fucked your brother last night
You made the lady who made your cheeseburger sign the box so that when she got famous you would have her autograph.
it was weird i started the party in just my underwear and woke up in my clothes
You’ll (maybe) appreciate that I picked at my ingrown hair again. Quarantine updates are getting BLEAK.
as a lesbian i'd like to thank joe biden and also america for giving us this absolute MILF for a VP
Randomize