Motor boating, judging by the amount of lipstick I found I would say between 6 to 8 times
I don't even want to think what you did to boys being that drunk and horny.
Then I wouldn't suggest looking at the pictures from last night.
After Sake bombs he tried to puke into an alluminum beer bottle and shot vomit streaks in a perfect V out the sides of his mouth and hit BOTH girls he had bought drinks for that night. He was like an Icon of Cock-blocking yourself.
the world took limewire and four lokos away from me in one week....hello depression
He kept telling me how extraordinarily clean my ears were.
This inappropriate post strip club text brought to you by Cheetah of Palm Beach and vodka. Blowjob in the champagne room and the clap for the low low price of your paycheck.
Did you like my voicemail? Sounded like I was being murdered, right?
By a pack of ravenous dildos
Hey. There is naked girl with "plz don't touch her. She just turned 21" sharpied on her chest. What happened last night?
I woke up surrounded by goldfish. Thank God my laptop was here too. Now I don't have to leave my bed all day.
He deadlifted me and I came just a little at the apex
Gramp just called her sex-on-a-stick. AKA HE CALLED HER A WHORE. My 75 year old grandfather just called your ex's new thing a whore.
So... Sex in my rain boots last night. Trashy or a great show of character?
If it was with a guy, trashy. Sex with a girl is never trashy.
We made out in front of everyone INCLUDING his girlfriend. And no one saw. THAT DRUNK!
I only live four blocks from the bar but when you're hammered this walk feels like the journey through Mordor.
How’d it go?
I accidentally joined a cult
So not great...
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