I have had it with that bitchy sack of crazy. Iam done!
white shorts are a girls way of saying "im ready to fuck cuz its not my time of month"
I told the girl in his bed not to bleed on his sheets like the last one.
She said we should all be mermaids since didn't breathe for 9 months inside our mothers. I want her logic.
No, my body just knows its the weekend and wants to rage. Very different from alcoholism
Maybe I'm a robot.
You can't be that drunk already
Well for starters the people who just made my burger at the grab and go just told me to "hang in there"
i can't invite random hot hobos into my aunt's house.
This medicine is making me nuts. I just woke up and I thought I was in a glass case with Asians staring at me.
She swallowed the key to the cuffs, I've been having to explain the pink fuzz all morning.
I never thought it would be so hard to find a power hour partner at 2 on a Wednesday
I know that you sometimes make decisions based on comedic effect, but losing your virginity shouldn't be one of them.
I need to start journaling my drunk thoughts. Drunk me is fucking brilliant & sober me is missing out.
beggars cant be choosers....im desperate and he has a dick. he checks all the boxes.
Well, not only did I find out the Top Knight has roof access, I also let a guy I just met eat me out on the roof. Seems like a lot of wins if you ask me.
Randomize
