Don't bone anyone, just think of ur vibrator lol
HHaaaaaaaaa mmmmn vibrator
one might say we're banned from that church
do u usually make out with people before telling them your name???
My girlfriend went down on me and as she did she hummed the theme from star wars and pretended my dick was a lightsaber...I'm buying the engagement ring tomorrow
she thought don quixote was a type of tequila.
Dude, we're at Einstein's Bagels and the dude next to us is spreading cannabutter on his bagel.
Is it creepy to message a girl and say you had me at stocked liquor cabinet?
They had half off shots during the fourth quarter. I was powerless.
So roofie roulette was a success but I'm a little worried that the 2 who got the tainted beer still haven't contacted anyone...
i wish his balls had a scratch and sniff sticker elsewhere so i would know before i even went down there
i should probably stop thinking with my vagina, and start using that $70, 000 education i can't afford. what the fuck.
Just ushered a raccoon across the street so yeah.. Good night
I was so high the sounds of a cricket drove me out of my home at 4am.... Boo that fucking cricket
Some guy just walked past the bus stop in a lab coat and with a samurai sword and case...
Theres just something about today that says lets get drunk, dont you think?
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