I saw a penis in my cereal this morning. do you think my cheerios are like professor trelawney's tea leaves?
one can only hope.
So the waitress at the Chinese Buffet totally just said "Adios" to a Hispanic couple. There's something you don't see every day.
Just got blown on the bus in front of abot 20 ppl. Lots of high fives.
He was taking the caps off the vodka bottles and throwing them out the window so we'd have to finish them. Engineers have the best logic.
This is the second time in a week I've woken up with your bra in my bed and I've had to sit and think about how it happened.
I think he just caught a duck in mid flight
I love you so must. You as do fraty. You are truly my veste breakable (ties I wtf racket Andover). Luce you. Have a safe drive bio dough failover.
I really shouldn't be this use to hearing "YOURE THAT GIRL?!?!"
Just dodged a state trooper, your weed will be there shortly. Fear the unbustable!
Nothing says happy valentines day like waking up to a naked man you hooked up with taking a walk of shame
I just remember banging him and then at some point I went and took a shower and went and laid in the closet
The ride home was alright, we hooked up in the street next to his car after he smashed into the guard rail
cake and sex. what better combination is there.
I bet your mom's never met a girl who's thrown up at the presidential inauguration before though.
ok so you're 100% sure this time that he isn't your ex in disguise again?
Randomize
