It's more exciting when they aren't single....and even better when you have to pretend that you just slept with their roommate while trying to do the walk a shame as their girlfriend comes marching into the apt.
Im not the least bit jealous of the life you lead.
The walk of shame isn't so shameful when you do it in a stolen, autographed Favre jersey.
Just took a final in the room where I lost my virginity. I think it was god luck.
The meeting is at the same hotel we go to for sex. Avoiding eye contact with all the staff there.
And yes, in case u were wondering a 25 year old high school agriculture teacher did just hit on me At Walmart bc of my pinata
The bouncer at this strip club is my new best friend. He is also very persuasive. He got me to strip onstage for a t shirt. It's a nice shirt.
They were so big her bra clasped in the front. Didn't even know those existed.
But yeah, that is officially the new "I just came" picture
At tuba camp, the pickings are slim. It's like being the tallest midget.
I drank beer out of some sort of animal horn all night, then we fucked to a "viking metal" album. I feel like I should go pillage something to complete the Norse trifecta.
if i do community service solely to impress a guy, everyone wins, right?
except your soul
Let's go. I'm waiting for my time to shine among the stars of never never land. Make sure you bring my Peter Pan costume this time. Shit's bout to get real glittery.
I just saw someone dressed as a bear leave your house on a motorcycle. I guess you guys are having a good time.
I love you with the passion of a thousand FUCKBOYS during the height of week 1 texting
idk i was trying to watch Fuller House and you got up out of a dead sleep, just in your boxers, said "no more Dave Coulier" and walked out to the living room and unplugged the router
Randomize
