I feel like my sweat is 40 proof right now
My penis is the apex of life and all other references. Lookin for a cheap vagina at this point. And cheap Korean BBQ
I'm watching Terminator eating a jar of marshmallow fluff. Trust me, you are not fat.
I think I just fucked my first person born during the Clinton administration
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
All the girls at the party had American flag thongs on... Pretty impressed with coordination seeing as how impromptu this event was
Take in how we used all the shot glasses in the bar in less than an hour
Me either. I want to get 'chase a stray cat through the neighborhood in my hooker heels' drunk. And it's your birthday, so you have to get 'best friend holding your hair while you puke in the bar bathroom and cry about your life' drunk. In a feather boa.
just walked into the study room and found an empty bottle of vodka and a passed out freshman. Did you have anything to do with this?
trying to figure out what happened last night by looking around the apartment.
naked man under the piano. THE PLOT THICKENS.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He sent me a blank text message. That's a booty call waiting to happen
I have the liquor shits and this time, it's personal.
Who the fuck stole my fridge again
Finally finished unpacking shit from school n found a bra with no idea whose it is... I miss college so much it hurts sometimes
people keep driving by and judging me for drinking natty outside in my underwear at 9 am. rude.
Just to let you know we went to the circus yesterday...in case you didn't remember
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