remember when she hit me with her car by accident, well apparently it wasn't an accident.
things it involved: vodka, boy parts, possible photos of me on a cell phone. things it did NOT involve last night: my bra, his pants, and sobriety.
Where does it all go? I've busted inside of you like 10 times in the last week.
Talk about the highs and lows of a night out: had a threesome, then got robbed at knifepoint.
He thinks MY vagina is tight. That's saying something.
As a female I reserve the right to put my ipod in my cleavage because I have no pockets and not get judged by other girls right??
We had to leave after he was in the middle of the street yelling "Balls of Steeeeeeeeel!!"
He had a joint rolled for us when he picked me up. It's how ASU does romance
You decided that walking wasn't in the cards for you anymore
The blow job award ceremony was a little much. You guys didn't need to call out what happened the night before.
What? How can you say that? You won!
Mike's my new hero. There's a flagpole of hook-up's bras on his porch and a week's supply of beer in his fridge but he still has a great job.
It's okay. I think we're back on. I just went on a dog walk with him n blew him on a sidewalk
Hopefully they won't bring up last year's Christmas party. I kind of predicted my great aunt's death...
Rum and your dick are involved. You're relying on the unreliable narrator.
Ok next time we are filming it. You bring the camera and I'll buy more socks
Randomize
