Just wanted to let you know that if you need my services as a male dancer for his birthday, let me kno so I can clear my schedule
Just spent the last of my lifesavings on (what i hope is enough of) alcohol. Hello summer.
i DID try to find you last night. i asked where you were and you texted me the letter "e" and a picture of the dark.
I went around and congratulated every guy that had a beard for having one
Goddamn tequila
We didn't have sex but he is somehow naked and laying on top of me. his dick is touching my leg and freaking me the fuck out.
He doesn't care. He wouldn't care if my vag grew arms and smacked him in the face.
It's not that I'm in love with her, so much as I would love to be her lesbian experience.
I needed 3am water. Not 3am shots of rum.
I danced with a french guy who licked the sweat off my neck and poured a drink on me. Not gonna lie, that shit was refreshing
Tempted to tell the Titos promoters at this bar that they are doing the lords work.
Also, asking the guy who just told you he is crippled on edibles to watch your kid is probably frowned upon by most
Last night I had a dream that I changed my last name to Vodka. what does that say about my life?
i told her we had a class about unicorns together. i'd say it was a good night
A total of 3 guys left my apartment this morning. That was my first clue to my black out endeavors last night. Gotta love wine Wednesdays.
I'm still very high. To be blunt. No pun intended.
Randomize
