i don't know how boys match. i think shoes & belt are the only thing. it doesn't matter. i just know if they look stupid.
A few issues tonight. 1) Drunk since 1pm. 2) At the bar at 4pm. 3) James brought his sister, who has enormous breasts, isnt shy about cleavage, obviously slutty, and makes me want to do things that would even have Atheists sending me to hell. However, she's wearing glitter, so all Im thinking about is Edward Cullen. Go ahead and rip up my Man Card.
Sandwiches eeeeeeverywhere.
they just did a mariachi cover of free bird
I just almost got out my car and drop kicked this one chick over parking. Welcome to the first day of spring semester.
Seriously.......what do you have to do to get arrested in Vegas???
Ate lunch. Still drunk. Keep forgetting I'm in Texas but then I look around at the people and remember.
dude, seriously he just sucked the milk out of the dogs breast and swallowed it... for $20, wtf....?
The drunken tricycle race really added some class to the Tour de Franzia. Until everyone wiped out and started puking.
I'm watching Russian dudes pole-dance. For research.
Actually here it's more "lie around naked in a dark room" weather.
I woke up in someone's flat in Budapest and then got offered a free piercing before I left. Best. Hookup. Ever.
So the revenge porn my ex posted just resulted in a contract with a gay porn company. I'm going to make $8,000 this weekend. That would a breakup checkmate. Are you joining me in the legislative committee hearing tomorrow?
after stripping the bed and soaking it with the "pet spot remover" I have, I decided in the best interest of my mattress and our drunk friends bladders, i should invest in rubber sheets.
When do you estimate your next shower will be? Several people have asked.
Randomize
