wrigley field is MILF paradise
If my vag had twitter, what do you think it would say?
I got my nipple pierced! I love it so much!
Well, there goes breastfeeding.
Journey is playing on the radio....I think it is a sign I am going to pass my drug test
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
vodka and carrot juice, if im gonna drink i at least got my 8 servings of vegetable
i suspect the closest i'll get to a valentine this year is a 16 year old on chat roulette asking me to show my tits. step up from last year, i guess.
Why does my right nut always hang lower than my left nut?
When i asked him what happened all he said was, the toucan... the toucan... over and over again.
I smelled my fingers after she left and they smelt like sugar cookies. I want that one again.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
his mom gave me my lost underwear folded up along with the rest of my christmas present. tell me this cannot be happening.
She was surprised when she saw all our living room furniture was made from old kegs. It's like she's never met us before...
You were high and telling me you felt like Pinocchio and that fire was bad for wood.
the fact that we had sex in the dining hall makes it seem so much more like home.
I'm about to sell my hamster for weed money I'll call you in a few
He has no idea I'm scrolling through Instagram while he's going down on me. I'm so bored.
Randomize