You dirty dirty liar I like the way you twitter
Well douche your snatch and let's go!
He seems like he has feelings, which is completely unacceptable; esp for a boy in college.
Thanks for the birthday present, i had so much fun playing with it
Are you talking about my vagina?
I am literally too baked to press the call button. How am I supposed to bone him?
Apparently it's poor taste to ask for a break up blow job...in McDonald's. Also, that's not the best way to break the news either.
Somewhere along the night we ended up at a food lion giving jello shots to high school girls.
MEET ME OUTSIDE YOUR HOUSE IN THREE MINUTES. BE DRUNK. THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
why would you automatically assume i'm high...
you just told me you're eating the powder of a lemonade mix.
i had a threesome. one of the guys used to bully me in high school too for being gay.
Neighbour is sobbing. Difficult to masturbate.
I'm getting a car wash man. I am go get a car wash high.
I pulled you and a keg around in a wagon for like five hours and apparently everyone else remembers it but us.
All I want is some guy to eat me out while I work on grad school things then go on his way
Fuck my life... Im so horny Im gonna take it out on this sandwich
Randomize
