i know ur right I'm sorry I'm stupid and incompitent look I can't even spell incompetent right! Fuck!
now everythime i write "i'm" in my phone my tap9 spells out "i'm-never-drinking-again". It's trying to remind me
True or false: I did not bring home a 28 year old last night.
True? Did she teach you things?
She taught me the meaning of awkward goodbyes at 530 am.
you wouldnt answer to anything but devil's advocate all night.
there were no ball for pong so he bought cat toys..... they had bells in them
It's been 5 months since I last wore a condom.
Not including when spray tanning
But fine, we can play that game. You can come over and we can have totally platonic, long, boring discussions. Or we can fuck. Whatever.
Thanks for alerting everyone in our apartment what your one night stand's name is. Could you scream a little louder?
Good call on the strip club last night. Everytime i smell some flowery candle or air freshener I get transported back to having my face firmly planted in Riah and Desire's tits.
You're welcome.
I'm drinking too much free beer
Thats like saying one owns too many kittens. It's not possible.
The girls danced. I drank. Then I danced cause I was drunk. Then I ripped tim's shirt off cause I'm awesome.
ummm im also counting the $14 dollars I gave the old guy to pay for the cab I called for him to take to the hospital last night as part of ur present.
He said i got a new job lets blow this money he bought 4 bottles at the club he is now crying after seeing the reciept
Hungover, threw up in a cosmetic case in my car this morning. This is real life.
Have I told you i love you?
there's no need we are two peas in a naughty pod of fuckery
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