That was a long time ago. She needed the money.
i barely touched his dick and all of a sudden he yells, "BONER!"
my summer class's final was canceled bc it interfered with the world cup. he is giving us all A's on it. I love europe
I made an oral joke and he laughed... That's when I realized I wasn't Daddy's Little Girl anymore.
Today might be the day that I legitimately throw up in my saxophone.
my goal is to not remember how i make a living by 9pm saturday night
Currently in the bathroom stall of a gay bar in new haven giving myself an anti throw up pep talk
I sincerely hope you find your fuck buddy and have a wonderful night of champagne and whores
Oh boom. You're officially Dr Phil. I need to have sex that I actually remember participating in.
I'm gonna call it the Reunion Tour. Hooked up with two different ex girlfriends in one day...
They were so huge my eyes were just drawn to them. Boob gravity man.
Just watched two people have sex in the pool. Hope you enjoy your yeast infection courtesy of the comfort inn.
Had to leave my skype meeting to vomit. I'm obviously ready for the real world.
Being drunk at Chick-fil-A is a dystopian experience
dude i haven't had a solid dump since sunday and i still cant hear out of my right ear
Randomize
