Fun fact: when I ripped off my wristband, I punched myself in the face. Rad
I'm pretty sure I have jizz on the back of the dress I wore to church. Awesome.
I am full of burrito and curiosity
he has 3 profile pictures up and all of them are him riding jet skis
Also, I had a dream I had a ray gun and woke up holding my dick.
the boat had a sign not to jump off the roof of it, which gave us the idea to jump off the roof of it
I'm tangled in a fishing net down at the harbor. This has nothing to do with Captain Morgan. Bring wirecutters.
I know this is really fun but I don't wanna glow anymore
My walk of shame this morning would have been much less obvious if it hadn't been 6:30 in the morning and I wasn't walking through downtown Nashville in a Steeler jersey.
Celebrating landing my dream job by watching zombie movies and drinking free booze in the bath. I'm like 90% sure I just won life.
When are you going to accept the fact he is gay?
Come on... He's just practicing.
Ok. That's acceptable.
But now he's gone and I'm exhausted and my vagina is yelling at me and I want a cheeseburger
Enjoy the penises
Ill try not let guys feel my boobs for free drinks next time, no promises tho. I am my boyfriends worst nightmare.
She's celebrating a tinder-match-aversary and I'm not about that.
Randomize
