Dating is not our generation's strong point. We're an era that's good at getting laid.
One minute shes telling me about her volunteer work then she whips out a 12 inch dildo
It was my first time buying condoms at the liquor store... I was nervous and there were quite a few people, so I tried to do it as quickly and quietly as possible. When I got to the Indian cashier, he took one look at them and said loudly, "Ohhh you gonna get it on tonight, ah?!"
I know its been a few months but you must know you hve the 2nd biggest dick I've ever seen. 1st place went to a rapper so don't feel bad.
other than her wanting kids and me wanting to do drugs,were perfect for each other
I didn't realize I was holding it, until I was like, "whose baby is this?"
i was drunk enough to give the cab driver my number when he said "you talk like you like guys"
Yes. I am getting trashed on an open tab while judging a karoke competition
Impressive. I approve.
I tried...failed..now im naked on the futon since clothes are hard.
BURNT NIPPLES ARE UNHAPPY NIPPLES.
Banging to Billy Joel pandora is like russian roulette. But I made him cum to Let It Be so I we both walked away victors
I just found (and ate) a chunk of a reese's that fell between my boobs. Problem is that I finished those off 3 days ago in a drunk induced sob session... Has it really been that long since I changed my clothes?!
YOLO is a great motto until you end up with Chlamydia
I wiped my ass with a McDonalds wrapper. I've hit an all time low. Sorry for my impatience
So. My mom went grocery shopping for me while I was at work & brought the food here. Cool bc my dildo was laying on the counter. Forgot I left it out. I am sure she saw. Im mortified.
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