I'm surrounded by dudes and fupa's! No hot chicks...wtf!?
Medical industry, most hot chicks dont want to deal with blood + shit
Tim hortons said i dont meet their criteria. What the fuck criteria is that? You put bagels in an oven.
I thought it couldn't get worse until she said "Nipple hair"
woke up this morning with a big mac and chips on a plate, coke in a glass and a knife and fork AND NAPKIN waiting for me in front of my computer. PORN WAS ALREADY PLAYING. I LOVE DRUNK ME
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
A white limo full of drunken 30 something business people pulls up next to me and asks if they can kidnap me until 1030. If I don't make it back tonight, call someone and tell them I died gloriously
In other news, someone I've had sex with won jeopardy last night.
I woke up with hair in my teeth and half his beard was missing.
so apparently last weekend we taught the mascot how to shotgun beers. am i winning college yet?
I'm so annoyed. We're about to buy groceries for the week and at this point I'm hoping to sustain myself on pure alcohol.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So yeah, turns out I enjoy vaguely public group sex. Who knew?
I swear to the sweet baby jesus I didn't fill your freezer with salsa and my little pony toys, but I didn't stop them either.
True friendship: When you can hold your best friend's hair and still eat your Stromboli at the same time.
you made out with another girl for some wings
He took some pill and now he's on all fours demanding we give him chips from the dog bowl. Come get him.
saw a family tailgating a graduation with hard liquor... i'm assuming yours?
are you shitting me? they told me they'd at least wait until 10am
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