people and things i regret. that's what i want to do tonight.
well i did feel guilty about it. until i saw how hot the guy was the next day. now, nothing but pride.
yah i'm on my way- is everything ok?
i'm holding a walmart bag of my own hot vomit that i closed up with some random chicks hair tie. we r pretty fucking far from ok
Just woke up with three stitches in my left boob. Nevertheless, I think I'm going to like this school.
He woke up, mumbled "silverware", and went back to sleep
Dude I think my special talent is falling in drunkenly falling in front of a cop and getting away. This is the second time.
my mom was by far the drunkest one there. best impromptu wednesday afternoon party ever
I don't care if he got kidnapped by a cult one time he is a dick
A guy in the dance floor is raising the roof with an axe in hand. I love Halloween.
I just wanted to warn you I have strep throat incase I gave it to that guy we both hooked up with on New Years.
I know we were going to go hiking today, but I don’t think I can face reality until Wednesday
I'm eating a bagel on the toilet and watching porn. Trust me, I've got my priorities straight.
yeah, but I wanna be the girl that makes him realize he's 100% gay
Had a dick customer and the words "eat my ass" slipped out. He proceeded to lick his lips and say present it. I think it's time I quit.
There is way too much butt cleavage here for a formal event.
Randomize
