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4 maple syrup blunts. Decided to sit on my roof and count the snowflakes that landed on my tongue. 84.
i guess i called my mom last night. she wasnt nearly as impressed with what we did in the bathroom as i was
Found a barbie with nipples. Life is complete.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Her boobs are too amazing to be looking at my dick. I'm even ashamed.
when we woke up the fish was dead lying next to us on the bed. wat should i tell her
Just saw a woman in a hospital gown with a Steelers jersey on top smoking a cigarette while hooked up to an IV outside of the hospital. I love Pittsburgh.
We could be hammered at a childrens film. You failed me
you took a potato out of your pocket and just started eating it raw. don't know where the potato came from though
21st birthday = success
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You left me a voice message at 5 a.m. It was mostly incoherent noise, you screaming my name and then something about a man with two butt holes...
I hooked up with a guy that had a beard last night felt like I was building a fucken log cabin
Word my sister pulled through for me and brought vodka shooters for the plane. its about to be a sloppy 4 hours
WHY DID YOU DRUNK DIAL MY MOM?!
Because mine was sitting on the bar stool next to me...
Last time I "ran into him" I ended up with the clap and had to explain why the ladder was missing from the garage.
You came into the club around midnight with a carton of tropicana o.j. & said you were starting a revolution.
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