She got mad when I told her I'd bone her mom. She got MORE mad when her mom heard, and was flattered by it. Proud to say I attract MILFS.
Is there any way to un-invite somebody to a wedding? I just checked out the other family, and I can't have a cockblock there.
just had to make the 420 edibles gluten free and kosher for passover.
I'm drinking carlo rossi straight from the jug. I don't have any clean cups...how am I still at this point in my life...
I just ditched my friends to hang out with the chilis restaurant crew...one of these girls better have daddy issues
Dont act like I'm the only one that gets on a plane and picks out the one im gonna have fuck if we have time before the crash
also, the amount of semen in my carpet right now is unforgivable...
i refuse to hook up with a girl that looks like drew carey.
It's like a harem of immaturity and bad ideas...and that's coming from me
He's so vague sometimes. Like dude, we've been friends for 3 years. I don't need you to be vague, I need you to be inside of my vagina.
She showed up ready for sex all night.. with waters and a meat and cheese tray
Just took an Adderall with Pedialyte so I think that's a valid answer to "how are you doing"
I just set my mike's hard down and didn't want it to spill, so I held my finger up and told it to shoosh. I'm drunk.
He weighed maybe 130, his dick had to be 30 of it. SO BIIIIG.
tell me about the fingering
Randomize
