I know right? mind you this is the same woman who told me when I was 12 that oral sex just meant talking dirty
new low.... made out with someone while peeing
we were watching porn and trying to copy the position they were doing now i think my hip is dislocated
I went to his work to give him some blankets and ended up blowing him in the bathroom. See what happens when you don't come over?
Important life lesson - flammable and inflammable mean the same thing
You know what? I bet HE would do stormtrooper roleplay with me. I'm in.
Dude, I just had the best sex of my life in a porta potty at the NCAA girls lax championships but didn't get her name or number. But I have her sunglasses. How is this possible, I'm sad.
I love your life.
How was it playing wingman?
I feel like I was rockys coach watching him get the shit beaten out of him by Apollo creed
Apparently I taped knives to my hands and made everyone call me wolverine
Like when I see him I look straight through his appearance and just envision a big walking penis.
You were a cyclone of alcohol and bad decisions - like a gay Tazmanian devil
I wouldn't hesitate to give up my job to have regular bowel movements again
She's the good dick fairy. You buy her a beer and half an hour later the best lay in the place is asking to take you home.
i just watched a 27 minute video about owls...that high.
There is a woman in the stall next to me giving a pep talk to her daughter that wants to call off her wedding. I'm afraid to pee!
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