i need a shirt that says "I fuck trainwrecks"
So somehow I got from NYC to a suburban town in the middle of Jersey. At 4am. Thank god there are trains that can rectify my mistakes...
lets just use each other and get past this awkward stage. forget my name.
I still have his teeth marks on the base of my penis. You didnt miss much
You have dresses for different occasions. I need different men's dicks too. It's logic.
There are cops on horseback in our back yard
I'm like a number 27.2 on a scale of 1-10 of how badly I want you right now.
Your lack of a response brings it down to a 25.4.
Also, even though this really sucks now, we will look back on this one day and laugh at the time we all got arrested on Thanksgiving
So while you were living in this woman's apartment, you acquired a room mate, fucked her daughter, and killed her bunny. Worst sitter ever
So I just stirred my shower drink with my razor.
I'm not going to ask which end you used.
Colombian exchange intern from my Mom's friend's ranch loves me, and is staying the night because we got each other drunk. Successful Christmas? I think yes.
she came into my car to rip lines with our blow dealer as I was writing my essay on anti drug policy, i call it on site research
I shit myself when I came, don't have flu sex
he is sitting in the driveway by himself laughing at nothing, idk what to do
there is a naked boy in my bed & you just need to kick him out because i do NOT want to see him when i'm sober.
Randomize
