apparently the secret to your success is patron
After he proceded to violently molest my tits until 9 am i snuck out of his room only to meet his mother downstairs, who informed me she heard the giant sexfest going on in the room next to them.. this was before she called us both "chickenshits".. worst walk of shame ever.
just came on the shower curtain. sorry housekeeping.
All I remember is drinking vodka out of tupperware.
im not an educated person. i just do things. and it works out in my favor
I need a horse. I don't think you can get a DUI on a living creature.
She came in to my room half naked at 3am asking me if I had seen the movie balls deep 7
Saw on the news tonight that Hamilton county's syphilis rate is 9x the national average...use protection!
Thanks, mom.
I THREW AWAY MY VIBRATOR BECAUSE IT INTIMIDATED HIM. WORST. DECISION. EVER
I told her that I was going up to my room to lay in front of a fan without pants on, watching Avengers and she still wanted to get with me. I have to marry her.
I am his drunk Jesus. I will love him from afar because he's my little lamb
I DESERVE A BEADED TATTOOED MAN I'VE WANTED ONE FOR SO LONG
BEARDED TATTOOED MEN ARE PEOPLE AND NOT THINGS TO BE GIVEN FREELY
Enroute to my place eta 6 mikes...estimated time until intoxicated? 45 mikes. Commence the timer.
Christ I forgot how flexible you need to be for a decent sext pic. Jesus.
Fun fact: nipples work on touch screens. Tell your friends :)
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