aaaannd alcoholism beats pride. it's like grown-up rock, paper, scissors
I wanna get "leaving my dick in charge" drunk.
Dude I reek of $2.50 pitchers, $1 off/pack marlboro cigs, and fear.
Fear?
FEAR.
the remote is under the fat chick passed out on the couch. Good luck .. and may god have mercy on your soul.
Ehhh, contemplating pain killers and fruit snacks if that's any indication.
It's a noodle incident. All I can say is that it was completely accidental, no one was too seriously injured, and I'm not allowed back to that bar without a designated pusher for my wheelchair.
Thats just a parental red flag. They have been brainwashed. Lets baptize them into the church of PBR
I chased him for half a mile, lost him then somehow ended up at his house. Is that still considered stalking? I WAS drunk.
Last night I somehow got INCREDIBLY wasted & thought it was a good idea to make a group chat with all the guys I'm hooking up with and just say "bye." soo I'm hiding out till next week.
His dick's name has evolved from Sebastian to Big Daddy to Barbara Streisand to Barbara Walters. I think the transformation is finally complete.
Worst way to find out I have a half sister
I would rather contract a disease that would eat me from the inside out and make me suffer painfully while it slowly killed me than to put myself through the 20 minutes of agony that is having sex with you ever ever again.
I think you're talking dirty but I'm not sure???
Oh shit. My bra is undone and I'm pretty sure I peed on my sandal
Im crying watching 9/11 footage eating spray can cheese in my pajamas.
Somehow, walking in on your drunk mom in a diaper was the least traumatic thing I saw last night
Randomize
