I thought you said his peep was too small
it is but i have no money and nothing is on tv until 7 when americas next top model comes on.
oh hey just found a glowstick in my tits. fuck yes new years eve
We had literally Just finished having sex when he handed me a plan B and said he lied about wearing a condom.
i love how he claims to not know english but when i ask him to come over and fuck me he's all of a sudden fluent
1. I feel like Jello 2. The girl i hooked up with last night isn't here and a different girl is lying next to me. 3. I have no clothes on 4. Can guys go on walks of shame?
The bouncer said he wanted to but BBQ sauce on my legs. That Mystic tan has already paid for itself.
i remember too much of last night for it to have been successful
this lesbian fantasy crush is getting WAY out of hand. just spent an entire meeting staring at her long fingers thinking, "oh those could be fun"
CHAZ BONO WILL BE ON THE NEXT SEASON OF DANCING WITH THE STARS.
Internet Is back!
MY NEWS TRUMPS YOURS.
well I was pissed. first he yelled at me for having my own condoms, then he got mad when they didn't fit him. Dude, I only fuck magnum men.
I told you in the isle if you get the one that vibrates that I masturbating with it. Your fault.
Bullshit. You owe me a toothbrush.
Those tiny little fruit fly looking mofos. They fly past the phone and I grabbed them like Daniel-San
Just cried because I'm out of oreos. This post-molly depression can go fuck itself.
Swimming turned traumatic when grampas shorts slipped off..
I swear to god my spidey sense only tingles when someone’s about to die or you’re being a hoe.
Randomize
