Is it weird i consider You Sexy Thing our song?
I hate how you keep a running list of people who have seen me naked.
You put a nerf gun to his head and demanded him to take you to taco bell..
heey were did you guys go? last time i remember seeing you i was throwing up in the fountain
There was a punch bowl full of straight vodka. Glass bowl, ladle, vodka, and no punch at all. It was something of a rough night
Look if 10 am was too early to go barrel tasting the winery would not be open.
I can't say "baby i'm to high to talk to you" in Starbucks.
If my penis could make facial expressions, it would constantly have a smile on.
So his roommate walked in on us, went upstairs to tell her bf she has found a new use for the rafters & they must try it.
Are you proud of yourself?
ask me again when I'm drunk. Then fuck off.
I like how I just yelled in the window at Mcdonalds drive thru, got his number and then fucked. it was like I ordered a happy meal that only can be had after midnight.
*swallows 40 gallons of heavy water and astral projects into buzzfeed* Top Ten Reasons Why I Am God
Sooo i'm debating posing nude for the drawing and painting classes, I just wanna see if they draw my nip ring.
He was actually surprised when I poured myself a glass full of straight vodka. Clearly he doesn't know me as well as he thinks.
all i remember is walking home without my pants on... when i woke up i was sleeping in between my parents in their bed, no more whiskey wednesdays
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