True friendship; bangin a girl to get ur friends hat back
Sonogram pictures belong on a fucking fridge...NOT FACEBOOK!!
I just banged two guys while dressed like an angel. I love this holiday.
I feel uncockblockable...banged her in the bathroom with my iv still in
I know it's not standard practice to meet the couple you donate to, but i'm curious as to what kind of people saw my picture and said, we want that girl's eggs
He wasn't eating out, he was performing a hysterectomy without a license....should I be worried about my future family?
Yea he called the cop officer fonzarelli and asked him if he was mad because happy days was off the air. Boom, beaten and arrested
I put tequila in my salad dressing yesterday. Step the fuck up.
How are you feeling?
Hungover as shit. Someone just knocked on my window to make sure I was alive. I have been sleeping in the drivers seat for an hour parked outside my store. That is how okay I am.
He said he "doesnt care at all, really" if I shave my legs or not. Challenge accepted.
Random boy motorboated me, handed me a business card congratulating me on my motorboat, winked and walked out with some other girl
Find him and marry him.
He tripped and fell all the way to the ground and then stood right back with out spilling a drop of his 3/4 full glass of rum and coke. It was like watching something from the matrix
So what happened at girls night? My roomate found me passed out locked out on the front steps of the house and it was raining. Yes low moment
Dude no i feel my liver disintegrating
Coworker just walked in thirty minutes late reeking like weed and clutching a handful of scratch-off tickets. Also, there’s still a stripper pole in my office. Happy Wednesday!
Randomize
