i just drank a strangers drink off a toilet
hahaha he is wasted in math class right now and is drawing all the planets in order from the sun
You pointed at his crotch then made a thrusting motion. I think it's safe to say every guy at my college loves you.
Well you are. Awfully cute even. Like baby bunnies. And tiny, tiny penises. You know.
I'm puking to John Mayor, save me. Or at least change it to somethong beyyt
Her pussy was so beautiful. That's what I'LL miss the most. Not the omelets. You're the roommate, obviously our priorities on this situation are vastly different.
Well, I now know how many glasses of wine it takes for me to fuck my neighbor.
The underwear in the garbage is clean. Just wipe the pizza sauce off
As soon as they started using chocolate milk as a chaser for captain Morgan, I thought l it'd be best to leave.
On a scale of 1-10 how seriously are we considering being sugar babies?
I'm about a 7.95
We should give each other good-luck-on-your-finals head in the morning.
Pictures of drunk me in a bike helmet are like McDonald's collectible toys. There's sooo many, but NO ONE has seen all of them.
Its not often you get to say, "The security guard at my job is my new drug dealer," but as of last night, I get to say it.
He literally said from now on he's always banging chicks with asthma becuas it's such an ego booster
I'm sorry for chipping my tooth on your vagina last night :(
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