so... how was it???
he had bart simpson sheets. he had itunes on shuffle and "don't worry be happy" started playing when he took his boxers off. sad to say i was neither worried nor happy
OMG! Someone dumped chocolate soft-serve in the bathroom! Dibs!
We were sexting and then the radio announced robert pattinson would be playing kurt cobain in a movie and it totally killed the mood
Sorry I didn't wanna double team his sister. Having whiskey dick and watching you get laid didn't sound appealing
If my bosses could see, smell or hear me right now they would understand why its a horrible idea to keep the office open sundays
We did lines off of a Whitney Houston CD case. That makes everything okay.
when i'm drunk i think im just gonna point at him and yell adultery is a sinnnn. youre going to helllll
Then, he just started shoving orange pieces in my mouth as a chaser
You know you need to hit the gym when you're not strong enough to get the cork outta the wine bottle. And you know you're a drunk when that's the only motivation to do exercises
Now that I'm hitting my bong, I realized I haven't missed something so much in a long time. I love Thomas the Dank Engine.
he said he did everything he could to puke on his nurses because they were doing everything wrong
Thats admirable.
I just sneezed weed. Kinda wanna try to smoke it.
She's takin more dicks this month than I have in my life by the sounds of it
i feel like every weekend turns into a giant blur of i dont want to know...
There was a woman who drank mouth wash to get drunk during her supposed detox...this is def the internship for me!
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