I'm too stoned for this. I'm Canadian.
i think he might wanna be bffs again, but idk cause we're friends again but we haven't been bff since like a year. i don't know what to think...
wow. what a nail bitter. i need popcorn for this. brb
meow
WTF. STOP SENDING ME ANIMAL NOISES. ITS FUCKING WEIRD.
worse. her friends hid in the bathroom while she gave me head and then screamed surprise right as i was about to cum
Is it weird to say that getting an std with you was kinda romantic?
the only thing you and i have in common is the we like weed and looking at my naked body.
Are you doing trivia tonite? Also sorry I peed on you.
How did you get him out of the shower last time?
Order Taco Bell and leave a trail of burritos leading to his bed.
You realize that if you get murdered while we're talking, I'm gonna have to explain to your next of kin why the last thing on your phone is a picture of my boobs.
nyquil+orgasm=very intense and oddly interesting
Ever had one of those went so hard last night you woke up at the foot of the bed naked wondering where your phone ended up?
Plus my parents would be pissed if I spent Thanksgiving in jail... again.
Who told you he won a fight? He slammed his face into the ground while trying to do 11 push-ups
I am playing in the snow in my bunny outfit. GET OVER HERE
My sister gave me satin sheets. We can fuck on satin sheets.
Randomize
