he said i was weird because i want to have sex in public places.
i dont think thats weird i think thats fun
i forgot to tell you, he fell asleep outside my house again last night, but im weird
my lips still taste like vagina
so you liked breakfast?
ehh, still wish we woulda went to IHOP instead
sorry i interrupted the heart to heart you were having with your bathrobe last night
i woke up to 115 texts from him all saying "do you love me??"
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Watching a deaf couple have an argument in the mall. Can't bring myself to look away.
Thanks for last night. Sorry if i was obnoxious. I respect your morals and i wouldn't want you to lose your virginity to a drunk girl in your mom's prius.
had to go back to that apartment this morning to get my other boot. it was tacked to the wall
I can neither confirm or deny any bear related allegations right at this time.
he convinced me that i wont have to do the walk of shame bc he has to go to jail in the morning
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The grocery store is a combo of ghetto ppl complaining that the low fat chips are all that's left and hipsters trying to eat organic during the hurricane
I swear going to your house is like going to a strip club, no matter what happens I get glitter on me.
I'm high and having a granola buffet this has got to be the healthiest I have ever been
If you hear death cries, thats me singing. Just let me be.
Where'd you go?
Laundry, im. A responsible drunk
Of course you try to burn the house down on the one night we take down the smoke alarm so we can use the fog machine more
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