My dignity? Collapsing on itself like a dying star.
the general consensus of people in the room is that i should have another bottle of wine.
"people in the room" being me.
I just ate a fried snickers. I now officially accept all fat jokes
Found a pint glass in my snow pants.
Just bought all my wine for the weekend with a check at 11am. I'm almost judging myself.
I'm driving up the street and can't tell if my ears are actually about to pop or not.
A solid 8.5 on the baked meter, I need to stop.
Omg. I have a story to tell you later about that girl that just crawled on stage
she shotgunned a can of v8, threw the can on the ground and said, "fuck bitches get money" then passed out on the spot
You made me drive your car so you could give the dude from the parking lot a BJ in the back seat. Classy.
That's a lot of people she's fucked in one picture.
He yelled "I'm Bruce Springsteen!" when he came. This is why I don't sleep with guys from Jersey.
My v day was great. There's a cum stain in the shape of a handprint on my sheets
I want you to defile me in my childhood bed.
Dennis picked up a 50 year old woman. Then he and Dan got in a fight and jumped out of the limo. No one knows what happened to them.
My mom just used the chap stick I used right after giving him a blow job. I am a horrible daughter :(
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