Ok let me ask a question, does aderall make women less apt to have sex?
Cause it just destroys penises
Was that inappropriate? I can't gauge these things anymore
So the hot 23 year old i went home with last night is really 17 and was here for orientation.. i feel like a pedifile...
In that case, you should probably come up to the union, orientation is in full swing, your kind of guys ;)
cunt.
I projectile vomited into my sink. Jealous?
Kind of. My puke would have just dribbled down my chin and missed the sink completely.
Ohh that happened after I started to cry.
Its 6am. Um if my mom for some reasons asks, you stopped by my house around ten and had some wine with me. She is concerned I drank a whole bottle by myself. Woke me at 6am to interrogate..Thank god my pounding head thinks fast.
PS We had chips too. She is less concerned about the whereabouts of the chips but still a good lie always needs detail.
they just dont make restraining orders like they used to.
if every girl in minneapolis isn't pregnant when i get back to the cities i will cry
We met at my place after separate parties but the condom wrapper was red with hearts and said love. Does that count as a romantic date?
Is there a law against that?
Nope not at all. Just morals. But fuck it, this is college, not real life.
Haha yeah that's basically it. He was like "i've always had a thing for you, and even sober i still would do and feel the same way." so glad to know i am worthy of a sober hookup as well.
Really stoned me is having a very serious, intent conversation with my mom about egg rolls and koolaid flavors.
Yeah I remember doing the worm in my moms room. While she's yelling at me and I'm making seagull nooises
THE VODKA TRAIN IS NOW PULLING INTO THE STATION
I guess "Ass Fun Friday" is not a thing no matter how many times I say it or bring it up in conversation...
I'm saying "I told you so" now so that I don't slow down to say it on the way to grab the fire extinguisher
Dick is dick
Look decision making is not my specialty
Which is why I just spent $33 on a breakfast sandwich coffee and hash browns
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