we're talking about where were going. or where we stand. but yeah we'll basically be doing it in the hallway so just ignore us
They were done having sex when I went to the room. They had that look on their faces.
Disappointment?
As per my father's affair, married men are no longer off limits.
Set off the fire alarm in our dorm at 2:30 am last night. 150 Naked people wrapped in towels shared a bag of popcorn with me as we watched the firefighters frantically search for my burnt popcorn in the building.
OMG THAT WAS YOU?!
I just remembered our "im drunk enough to look at your vagina" conversation. Is that offer still valid? I really think I need a second opinion
best friends dont let best friends get an STD of the eyeball just saying
He's coming over for beer and a movie, but I just don't know if he's interested.
Pathetic and sad. I should come over there and fuck both of you just to get the ball rolling.
What the fuck could you be doing in that room to make her yell "Beginners Luck!" over and over again?
After arriving 30 minutes late, he slowly walked to his desk and halfway there he just falls over like a tree and passes out. I now have some sort of proof as to how awesome that night was.
he kept opening the car door while we were ON THE HIGHWAY and insisting he could walk. next time i drive my boss home at 3am i'm putting the child lock on
He tried to stop traffic by waving his half eaten pizza at cars.... And we were stupid enough to cross .....??!!!
You know you're an upperclassmen when you go to a party with no makeup, wet hair, weed socks, and no shoes, take a shot ski, then leave
My early Valentine's Day one night stand just took an uber home. Thank you, technology, for letting me enjoy this day in peace. 😍
Text me later if you aren't dead and wanna have a drink later
Wow first he impregnates you then he won't send you the sex tape you made together? Where has chivalry gone?
Randomize
