I need help removing her.
YOU GOT EVICTED FROM A TRAILER PARK!?!? WTF!!!!!
Some kid in my class just puked in his backpack, zipped up the backpack, put the backpack on and walked out the door.
New drinking game: take a shot everytime Jay-Z is played during the NFL draft.
i never thought it was possible to fit gay, redneck and asian into the same sentence before i met you.
and this wasn't even the first one i'd hooked up with
How many folks do you know who bring coke to a dinner party. Seriously.
I'm not an expert but calling her the "hot lesbian" isn't going to coerce her into a 3some with you
Apparently throwing balloons filled with vodka off the roof is considered terrorism.
Ten minute nap on a staircase honey badger don't care
I love you. Mom got to wasted at the wedding that she threw up on my shirt.
The ideal thing to do next party is to tape my boobs down so they don't knock over the pong cups while playing defense. They came back to hurt us this time
2:23 am. Im just at McDonalds, in my pajamas, at 2 am, paying in nickles, cuz thats how i roll.
2:26 am. Im just being thrown out of McDonalds, in my pajamas, at 2 am, without my nickles, cuz thats how i roll.
also new logic of mine : I fuck a Scottish kid , Scotland national animal is a Unicorn airgo I've come close to fucking a unicorns descendent, mother always said dreams come true
You kept asking us from the backseat if you were driving ok and then you kept talking to your hiccups and yelling at them to "stop it already!"
And with one simple text you can separate the men from the boys...."it's that time of the month."
I think the cats may be lesbians. It could just be a two hour mutual bath but it sure looks like a 69.
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