I heard Topanga got a DUI. I need that mugshot asap.
member when we used to take shits together before volleyball games?
hahah your definitly as dumb as I think I thought you are. boom roasted.
Pro tip: Don't start playing Bejeweled on Facebook while waiting for your Adderall to kick in. Unless you have the next 9 hours free.
There are no words to adequately express my gratitude for sending me porn you found staring a former classmate.
I'm on strict orders from her to keep sleeping with you until you give her a job next summer.
When I opened my laptop there was a half eaten little debbie oatmeal cream pie inside.
He had a 99.9% chance of getting laid...until he started cutting down the frat's volleyball nets with his pocket knife.
Haha, oh man. I'm awake now. Slept in my headdress.
I said we should get a taxi and you were waving down cars, three of which were cops and one of them slowed down and shook his head then kept driving
He didn't think we needed a taxi
We're gona eat taco bell and then take exlax and see who can hold it in the longest. Loser has to pay for drinks all weekend. You in?
Reading old FB posts. Why did I ever stop drinking?
last night on the strip the guy screamed at you YOU GOTTA WORK ON YOUR CALVES.
My plan to hit on all your friends went to shit after the 3rd dirty martini.
How early is too early to start day drinking? Asking for a friend
About five minutes ago. You’re good now.
Randomize
