I told her I was pledging and she immediately proposed to give me head in the bathroom. i love how easy rushees are
There was a pool of blood on my desk and we still don't know who it belongs to. missed a good party, man.
I am not speculating about which disney princesses do and do not have gag reflexes
i think i just witnessed the elusive male walk of shame
Liquid roulette time! Black Mystery Cups are filled with either ipecac, whiskey, or NyQuil. Let's have fun
her dad gauges his nipple piercings.
Definitely just realized I wore a shirt that says "building leaders for Christ" to a hookup. Roll tide.
Evvvvvveryone knows we hooked up in the DJ booth. People call it the BJ booth now. I've created a legacy
Holy shit, I just successfully took and sent a boob pic AT MY DESK I have conquered an entire new level of skill.
The fact that you got a stranger guy to buy you a pizza off tinder makes me feel amazing
I just formed the "shit on a tree in Chicago club." And I feel awful about it.
Get over here asap there are three naked girls two bottles of whiskey and only one of me
I AM STRANGELY AROUSED BY THIS UNEXPECTED DEVELOPMENT AND I AM COMPLETELY OK WITH THIS.
I'm saying "I told you so" now so that I don't slow down to say it on the way to grab the fire extinguisher
Why do all my exes just become Tom Hanks in Castaway?
That's a fantastic question. And an odd set of criteria to meet if wanting to date you.
Randomize
