I dont abuse you, i just hit you while we have sex
Im broke. I spend all my money on weed cigarettes alcohol and food. In that order. I cant even cut one of those because you know it'd be food. I already stopped getting my nails done just so i could support my bad habits.
why is it that everyone in pennsylvannia gets fucking prego??
We just made watching Intervention into a drinking game. We drink everytime someone does drungs.
I woke up naked by my window. blinds open. smiley face drawn on my window.
Just gave advice in krystal burger while holding and pointing with a corona to a 3 year old, told her to enjoy her stroller time while it lasts. The mom pushed her away fast.
Ummmm yeah ..,.. All three girlfriends I have right now are chatting with each other at the party...... I'll see you on the other side
He kept yelling "osteoporosis" and threw milk at her because she broke her arm.
I just found blacked-out interviews on my voice recorder. Go journalism.
I'm pretty sure this is how polyamorous relationships begin.
I went to the bar saying i wasn't going to drink that much. I forgot sobriety might as well be some mythical creature when you're with Holleey
My mother is a bitch. She just outed me to my dad. He wants to meet you by the way...
I have four things I would like to do over summer too... Problem is they're all roommates
easy for you to say. you're not the one who has to explain why you woke up with a pineapple and a used condom.
I'm not saying it wasn't great. I'm just saying sleeping with a gassy, depressed,45 year old mother was a different experience. Would do it again though.
Randomize
