____ banged a stripper...well technically she's now a hooker...
i threw up in a trash can last night at kellys irish times. but in a trash can because i'm a lady
the not having weed thing wouldnt be nearly as tragic if it wasnt the one holiday where they launch bright flaming things into the air
okay serious question, the water is shut off in your house, do you attempt and use the clean toilet water for your new bong?
I found my laptop, credit card, and a bottle of Morgan all on the counter this morning. I'm scared to see what gets delivered to my house this week.
were doing shots for every snowflake that hits the ground
I can hear my fat mexican neighbor yelling "do you like that!" ...I hope its not his dog
I am pretty sure I told him the clouds were earth's purest filtration system and that snow was the rarest and most delicious water in the world. My lips are burning because we ate so much.
Ask if he wants his tooth back. It's in the freezer. In the box of hotpockets.
Thursday nights need to stop happening to me.
All I want to do is fuck in the bell tower before it leave this school. Is that too much to ask?
being pregnant is like rehab
I have fuck me eyes 4/5 people agree. It's like doctors or dentists but with ppl who have lots of sex and know these things.
So I'm texting her. How do I steer the conversation toward "I honestly would be fine never seeing you again"?
That Kevin guy is something else...His penis is fucking glorious. And he has a way with words. If he lived here I'd be the conductor of the fuck caboose. I mean literally I would never want to get off that thing.
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