Why do girls always cry at the bar?
What's the point of going out if you're going to cry all night?
Are they having an exestensial crisis at the bar?
Call me so I can make it juicy for ya
I love you
are you drunk
yes but I def love you, we should get married
But I'm Jewish
embrace Jesus
I really want to fuck my wifes sister.
i just passed a truck with a bumper sticker saying "i'd rather be cummin than strokin." god bless the midwest.
Life lesson. Learning to pee left handed is easier than learning brickbreaker left handed. Rather lose a few drops than a few lives
His dick looked like E.T.'s finger. It scared me.
Its not christmas eve unless I give him head. I wont take no for an answer
Buying Plan B right after a lecture on feminism. It's nice to know who I can thank for that right.
We woke up, fucked twice, she drank 3 warm heinekins to cure her hangover and said "Im glad you're still hott when im sober"
I keep telling girls I work at the carnival and then guessing their weights. I'm pretty sure I'm about to get kicked out.
Why is there bacon braided in my hair
Do you know how to give stiches?
I do not...this text concerns me
I was walking around the party holding a dog on my shoulder like it was a parrot
I'm high and reading a Wikipedia article on circumcision procedure. Help.
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