is she serious with that outfit? Why doesnt she just paste a for sale sign on her boobs?
terrible decisions. terrible terrible terrible decisions.
who'd you have sex with.
Just found the video that explains the neighborhood applause. Your landlord is awesome, and the clothes are on the roof
I passed out on my porch last night. I'm still making it to class. This is what growing up means.
You missed a lot. I drank contact solution thinking it was water, vodka thinking it was water and some unidentified substance that reminded me of pine sol thinking it was water..
She had one drink in her cleavage and another in her hand. She kept rotating between the two by leaning backward and then sipping the one in her hand.
Took me 12 hours to be sober again. Shitshow mission accomplished
The other. Cat spoke to me and left. This shit is laced
The first cat might save me but they are taking out masks
BEST FEELING EVER: Standing in a hot fucking shower, while super baked, while eating a cookie.
You eat cookies in the shower?
I just blocked a guy on grindr for having a little dick. See? I do have standards.
How early is too early for a booty call on a Monday night?
You ripped my pants off and gave me the choice use it or lose it what was I suppose to do.
I find celibacy oppressive. Huge waste of my time and talents.
If I don't get struck by a lightning bolt from God by midnight it will be a Christmas miracle.
Don't send me pics of cunning dicks while I'm eating potato chips
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