What did we do last night that was yellow?
Dude, we took our shirts off and set our chest hair on fire. That's a low point.
You raise a valid concern
Did I tell you I had a charge show up for $36 on a credit card I haven't used in 6 months from Wild Wings? It was that night we slept across the street from the bar.
The neighborhood kids rang the doorbell in the middle of my first bong rip to ask if they could use my trampoline for the thirtieth time today...I opened the door and pretended to puke up a shitload of smoke, I have never seen a more terrified group of children
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Obviously you've never slept with someone who was deliverance level inbred.
My dad wants to dress like mitt Romney tomorrow night and tell trick or treaters they owe him candy.
Apparently that big girl from last night tried to take me upstairs when I was blacked out and all I did was grab Qs arm and whisper 'don't let her take me'
like every night i go out someone always suggests nipple hugs so that's why I always end up topless
Lets just say my thoughts when getting dressed this morning was "vagina friendly" options
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She referred to my balls as rotund and handsome
This is why you arnt allowed in pet stores
he went down on me WHILE i ate BACON PIZZA! best. boyfriend. ever.
I honestly have no desire to wear clothes around you
I have that affect on people
Gotta go, there’s a chick at my door that wants to give me head
Apparently his ex was into edging and did it to him so much that it takes forever for him to cum
I hate you and your multiple orgasm sexcapades
Randomize