I'm waiting for seagulls to eat this throw up
i just looked up and i was like omg ballsack and then i didnt know what to do
I woke up this morning with gum gluing my ass cheeks together..
I can't decide if I actually want to know or not..
Just walked by a guy on campus YELLING 'Im still hammered'
What sexual position says im sorry for your loss?
I'm taking stock of m life as of right now and my Friday night plans are to drink a 30 rack by myself so I can have a tv stand when it is finished
BGSU move in weekend. Just passed a house w a beer pong table set up, ppl already playing, girls holding signs that say "son drop off". It's 10:30 am.
You kept going up to guys in plaid and screaming "are you a lumberjack" in their faces
Dude hobos go hard. I learned a lot last night.
Just had to kick my 26 yr old boyfriend out of my bed before getting the kids up for school. Have I mentioned being 41 doesn't suck as much as all the hype.
I think I've been there, but who knows? I drink a lot
In the event that Ian's ex wife asks you, tell her I'm sweet snd innocent. No reason.
ugh i want to get waxed but I’m afraid. my vagina has had enough trauma this week, i don’t know if I can put her thru any more.
Sunburned by dick at the nude beach. Bad. She tried to blow me. But. I. Just. Can't. Saddest day of my life.
It's been THREE DAYS. Why do I still have the munchies?!
Randomize
