I thought she was going to get passionate and throw her on the bed and fuck her, but she just started breaking stuff.
That's the thing about women.
we have to go try and show our tits so we can get ID-free drinks at applebees
Ed hardy stationary at walmart. I'm betting snookie wishes she knew how to write
i dont know if you remember blowing your vomity nose directly into my hand...yeah thanks for that
I threw a jar of pickles out the window at a police car, why was that not a good enough reason to put me to bed?
Can't promise anything, there's vodka in my thermos
Just rescued a super cute pair of Gucci heels off the sorority lawn on my way to work. Things are worth two paychecks. Fuck trust fund kids.
Really, thanks for buying me caribou, it helped me out. Today will forever be the day I threw up in a caribou cup in the skyway outside of chipotle.
Of course it was necessary for me to call the strip club and ask what their shower policy is. Smelled like she was wiping her ass with my eyebrows during that dollar dance.
My dads not up on pop culture but he's not dumb enough to believe your 2 girls 1 cup reference at dinner was from the bible.
Wait. Did you let me snort wine last night cause I wanted to smell jesus's blood?
Yes. I have pictures. Your soul is mine.
He woke me up at 3 am, turned me on, then changed his mind. There is no way he is getting out of twilight now.
So, settle a debate for my housemates. Have you measured your dick. And how long. Results Will not be disclosed
Let's go one conversation without mentioning cats or alcohol someday.
I just mixed tangerine juice with sauv blanc. on an unrelated note, my episide of intervention is slated to run in April.
Randomize
