That was definitely a porn plot just waiting to develop...
All the good ones are taken. All that's left is the Harry Potter geek or the asshole in the corner. I think I'll settle for Harry Potter.
Dude I just masturbated laying underneath my Christmas tree. Apparently all I want for Christmas is to get laid.
Operation Purity has been aborted
how bad would it be if i made his twitter my home page?
He ran five blocks just to watch me and my best friend make out. I think he's a keeper.
just got the results back. i love his dick even more now i know its clean
I'm sorry but that single bed couldn't hold all five of us, especially with those boobs.
You made a course evaluation for your vagina? Wow. You really are a professor now.
Going to be a long day. text me later. Sorry I puked in your sink.
I have seriously seen way too may DIY cut off jean booty shorts and half shirts on fat girls this summer. Fuck you Pinterest.
Maybe she'll change her mind but the "go fuck yourself" doesn't seem promising
im bringing home some absinth and some holy water. one way or another things are going to get spiritual.
She was drunk running in the middle of the street when a cop saw her,picked her up and dropped her off at her house. This really doesn't surprise me.
His ass is a ten, but his personality is a two. Which would average to a six if I didn't have to figure in apologizing to all and sundry. In short hard no. Get a new wingman.
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