I reached in my backpack to pull out my laptop. I found my bottle of Jack and 2 bottles of Coke. It's going to be a good class.
I just discovered the Reese's pieces and sourdough bread sandwich. No signs of coming down.
I am currently listening to someone take a shit. I hate the hole in the ceiling.
How would one go about tricking someone into chugging an entire bottle of tequila?
Our DD has become famous. Strippers are asking to be handcuffed to him.
I'm horny too so maybe we will both recap our regrets on Sunday
I'm literally taking a shit naked holding a bottle of wine.
I stopped hooking up with him and ran to the bathroom to throw up. He saw me throwing up and it made him throw up
I woke up in someone's flat in Budapest and then got offered a free piercing before I left. Best. Hookup. Ever.
She didn't complain to the library attendant about us being too loud. She complained after you grabbed her highlighter off the table to stir vodka into your tumbler with.
I'm only gonna ask u this once. Y is there a picture of u only in superman underwear rubbin ur nipple on facebook????
Uh I can actually explain that one..
Is it weird that I was turned on when he told me he had a vasectomy?
I knew you two would hit it off
I just discovered that jello shots are the best hangover cure
You said that last night when you did jello shots at 4am
I asked what it takes to be a good delivery driver, my new boss said "always keep these in your vehicle" as he handed me a flashlight and a blunt. I'm going to like this job.
I need to stop using "I went to the Harry Potter theme park" as my pickup line.
Randomize
