she offered me iced tea and went to go change.then her dad came in the door.i thought i was on how to catch a predator.
Classy? Dude, she fucked 3 guys as part of a scavenger hunt
And?
She just sent me a picture of a heart. I need to stop fucking freshman...
I think I'm making progress on my commitment issues. I drunk made out with the same guy from last semester this weekend.
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Got drunk and tried to deep fry burritos. Turns out wild turkey isn't a good replacement for vegetable oil. Nearly burned my house down.
Sober people should be as daring as drunk people more often, because honestly the fact you’ve lived so long is a sign that anything is possible.
I think it's starting to become crucial that I find a companion for my vagina.
You don't want any of I have. Seriously. Its 80 proof rum that was 8 bucks for a liter. I'm afraid
I'm sure your liver is writing out a will as we speak
Posting happy birthday to my grandpa on Facebook.... Then realizing my profile pic is me dressed as a slutty cop when he used to be a police officer.
We turned on "find my friends" and watched her progress. Got concerned when she didn't move for an hour on Adelaide, turned out a booty call was made, then she went back to the bars.
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I only remember singing the Captain Planet theme song on our way to the bars.
I vaguely remember a drunken mid sex pinky promise to not let it get weird.
THERE ARE SO MANY HOT DADS AT WHOLE FOODS
i don't know what happened one minute im stumbling home drunk and the next im drinking pabst and smoking with a french guy ive never met named hugo.
I am a bad person
You slept with him. Was it good?
I wasnt going to but I was too lazy to blow up the air mattress
no, it was more of an i-don't-think-he-even-knows-what-a-clitoris-is, bad.
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