Your tits are I can't wait for
hey dont come home for a while, moms drunk and is telling the story of 'how she met dad at that orgy' again
Me either. I want to get 'chase a stray cat through the neighborhood in my hooker heels' drunk. And it's your birthday, so you have to get 'best friend holding your hair while you puke in the bar bathroom and cry about your life' drunk. In a feather boa.
I deem her datable let the dance of attraction commence
Found your counterpart from cali. Walked into the bar we were in with milk and a donut, ordered a beer and said anything his group wanted was on his tab....dangerous
Great sex, the promise of us mixing our excellent genetics in the future, and access to drugs are mainly what's holding this relationship together at the moment
I just said give me penis or give me death. Some patriot is rolling around in his grave right now.
Agree to hang out with him and then take a gigantic shit right on him. Or if youve forgiven him for being a fucker maybe make out with him.
I don't think my professor is going to remember the Halloween party... or the fact that he made out with a priest.
We should leave before they realize I dumped a bowl of Fritos in your bag just in case I got hungry
Never in my life have I seen a grown ass man get on all fours and attempt to buttfuck himself with the leg of a chair. I love Vegas!
He told me that he had never gotten a blow job. I sat there for a second, then thought "I MUST FIX THIS!" It was fucking fantastic.
At what point did i decide poptarts, nyquil, and whiskey was a good idea?
No bra. No panties. Makeup from last night. At work right now. I am trash.
I like that they’re all named Christopher or Chris. No need to worry about moaning during!
Randomize
