My right nipple has been called many things but never a ghost pig
also, made friends with this 75 year old millionaire Tony who likes to mosh. Don't ask.
Is it weird that I miss finding cum in my bed?
She's grinding on a deaf black man and I'm the interpreter.
josh has a chalupa in his pocket if you're hungry.
Just coat-checked 2 backpacks full of 40's...it was the bouncer's idea.
They're making him take his shirt off cause they think he's the bouncer. We're in his backyard.
This is why I can't have Wednesdays.... Or adult decisions.
I think the guy I was trying to dance with was an undercover cop...
It's gay pride, I'm in my EMT uniform getting more girls than your straight ass ever will..
If one of us has to be polite I guess I won't sneak out while he's in the shower
if a CSI technician examined our hotel room with a black light he'd think we hit the Pulse button a DNA blender without a lid
He goes from zero to fucking up in 2.4 drinks. Like the sportscar of bad decision making.
I turned on Elf, made myself a mojito, and am eating one of a sleeve of Ritz. You tell me if I wanna go out tonight.
So then edible panties?
Jesus no he likes candy too much, I'd lose a lip
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