why is every porn film shot in the same house? with the same red couch!?!
Nope, didn't see her. We left when you told us you were going to make the " big beef burrito supreme" even more supreme and you took your dick out.
hey can i play with your boom stick tonite? I'll let you shoot the love of jesus in my face.
come over
After a valiant attempt at golf, I think it's time for Tiger to go back to doing what he does best- having sex w/ blond, white women.
I am only moving my arms so I remember that I can. These brownies are wild.
I woke up to blood crusted on my face. I don't understand
team rage. no explanation necessary
I really need to get laid. I'm telling at least 10 girls that I love them tonight.
Odds are at least 1 out of those 10 girls will be as crazy as you and will be into it.
i chased bacardi with meat sauce last night
random memory from the wedding, the bartender show us how to open the windows of the hotel and pee out of them
I made him an O's fan. One pic of my tits coming out of a Baltimore shirt and it was done.
this probably sounds so sketchy, but hes going to jail in a month so he needs a place to crash for now. Hes sick though, and hes paying half our rent
Only thig bad about that muscular chick from the gym is she liked it so rough I had to bust out a few wrestling moves from highschool
How do you clean human pee out of a carpet
Inconspicuously
Hey before you quit, let me sell drugs to your boss at least one more time
I'm sorry I walked in on you guys, but all I heard from outside was her screaming "Dive, dive!". Sex was my last guess for what was going on in there.
Randomize
