Cool, I just put that together. I didn't know if using a tie-died sub machinegun was too crazy
i just realized Britney Spears and I are more alike than I thought. Both of us have our parents in complete control of our lives, we both have restraining orders on previous boyfriends, and we all know both of us can put on a hell of a show
so im in the parking lot of taco bell eating a taco...and some girl just got out of a car and screamed at the top of her lungs "XANEX FOR SALE!!!!" i fucking love Hamilton.
I told my new friends about my possible new chin. They said I should get my nose done first. Please tell me I'm pretty or something.
Just saw a guy at the gas station legitimately dressed in exactly what my costume was last night. Fuck his life.
I've already planned a drinking game for mtvs jersey shore....jagerbomb everytime they do
He was wearing his Class of 2007 shirt so I sat there for 5 minutes and read all the names of the guys I can remember giving head to.
Just walk-of-shame'd past fifteen little girls at summer camp. Take a good look girls, I am you in twelve years.
It wouldn't have been a big thing. If anything, I woulda apologized to you and cleaned the remote
I'm still not completely convinced I'm not pregnant. I just dipped beef jerky in cream cheese frosting.
get over here soon, theyre throwing bbeers at us from the roof. keyword : throwing
No, no. The rest of his everything inspires me to put his dick in my mouth
I feel like drug tests are a little less "random" when you are employed by your father.
I'm to sober to make life ruining decisions and alcohol is to expensive at this bar for me to fear that level of drunk happening
100000% expect a picture of my ass in them
Randomize
