It's Friday. Sex?
I'm jammin out to some Brit Birt, she's still my bitch, I love her crazy ass
Im in Brooklyn, he wasnt 23 or a musician pick me up
mom asked me why i'm never sober at family events, i told her i learned it from her.
Standing in line for a prescreening of Alice in Wonderland - guy just passed out cold in front of us - first drug overdose of the Alice in Wonderland phenomenon witnessed.
So it looks like you may be an uncle real soon. Don't ask how I feel about it and don't text me back.
Got robbed by knifepoint. Then got sympathy Bj. I might have to walk down Austin ave drunk every weekend
ROOF CAVED IN, WE'RE GUNNA MAKE A WATERSLIDE
Last two new years I ended in jail by 12. Can we wait until its actually 12:02 this time to do something stupid. I'd like to spend the first minute of 2012 free.. At least.
woke up wearing a canadian flag with the starting forward of the hockey team. i feel oddly patriotic
He stumbled into my room, flopped on my bed, shoes on my pillow and asked me for a juice box. Then fell asleep with the juice box on his forehead.
He let me keep my Michael Jordan Bulls jersey on during sex.
How do I tell this guy that if he does not like the condoms at my apartment, he should bring his own without sounding like a sure thing?
Say it's BYOC night at the beach. And, you are a sure thing. Own it.
you walked into the party, and all you had on was your left sock... literally.
The bouncer said the club was at capacity we couldnt get in till ppl left all three of them pulled their tits out we got complimentary bottle service never under estimate women
Randomize
