She told me she was a cowboys fan... I told her it was a waste of a perfect set of tits
I puked off the balcony.
Not horrible
Into the hottub. There were six people in it. I had eaten all their pizza.
she passed out facedown in my lap while I was playing piano. 11 years of piano lessons finally paid for themselves.
Ill trade u your bra for a run to the liquor store...
The only thing in that hotel room that we didn't fuck on was the roof
Blow job bear ended up in my bed last night. She didn't live up to her costume.
I really hope jumping jacks prevent pregancy because I'm kind of banking on it right now, do you know why there's a unicycle in the corner of my room?
Every grown women needs to pee herself once in her life. It builds character.
It's been a year of occasional hook ups....this was bound to happen sometime even with your jank ovary schedule.
Did we almost burn down the bar last night? I guess flaming shots were a bad idea.
Biggg time. I found 2 empty packages of extenze in my car this am.... not sure what that was all about
I'd like to believe that in some alternate universe we are living this wonderful lesbian life together..
So, what my linguistics project should really be called is "I happen to sleep/makeout with a lot of bilinguals and am now using them to help me graduate"
my ex logged me out of his netflix so im gonna fuck his bestfriend as revenge
I found my parents stash of sex toys. You know my green one? My mom has it...in purple. I HAVE THE SAME VIBRATOR AS MY MOTHER
Randomize
