Ha i know. My vag can't go too crazy for a boy halfway across the country. It doesn't have that good of range
So my teacher figured out I made a drinking game out of her lecture. Once my drink was gone she let us out. Happy St. Patricks day class. Your welcome
that girl from work that wants to bone me just said 'the last time i went this long without sex was in jail'. sup, red flag
I started sorting laundry at 6 am. He finally got the hint and left
I took my exam the next day still drunk and failed, but I kno for a fact that I filled in the bubbles for my name perfectly
its amazing there are so many photos of me and him separately, since most of that party time was spent sneaking away to fuck upstairs...
She's wearing her dead grandmother's pearl on the married finger so no guys "bother her" tonight... I am not THAT committed to Girl's Night.
You raged at the rock climbing place for not selling beer and then just said "fuck it" and pulled out a flask.
Can you pick up from work today? There's a surprise for you on the bed and I haven't gone blind which is positive.
So my quick shower turned into a "lay in the shower and let the hot water reign over you because you are too hungover to wash your hair" shower. I'll be there closer to 1:30!
Future roommate keeps sending me pictures of cool shit she has for our dorm and I'm just like "... I have a set of Aggie wine glasses a great set of tits."
Good. Sleepy. In the middle of a pregnancy scare. The usual.
I can feel the shame as I walk down your hallway.. good night
Look I'm really hungover so let's try this again. In 5 mins you're gonna call me and tell me that you're on your way with xannies, iced coffee and a back rub
YOU'RE NOT THE ONE BEING EVISCERATED BY YOUR OWN UTERUS SO GET SOME DAMN SLEEP YOU FOOL!
Randomize
